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警方完美示範道歉/澄清啟示反面教材

2020/5/25 — 0:34

圖片來源:飛影、PSHK片段截圖

圖片來源:飛影、PSHK片段截圖

又係小肥波英文教室時間,呢篇完美示範如何寫篇錯到開巷嘅道歉/澄清啟示。

1. police officer “did” pay for bottled drink

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文法上無錯,但將個 auxilary verb (do did done) 從 action verb 拆出來去表達「真係有比錢」來澄清,簡直係世界級,因為就算你真係有比都唔會第一句就咁樣講(marketing嘢不嬲都遊花園,遊到你順咗條氣先講重點㗎喇),死不道歉,厲害!

2. shows a Police officer taking a bottle of drink

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第一句個 bottled drink 同呢句唔同寫法做咩姐?依家好威要識寫兩種講嗰枝嘢?一係就第二啲位賣弄文筆喇。

3. 第一句成句咁多 gerund (taking, making, enforcing) 好 clumsy ,同埋強調自己係「執法時拎左」都幾好笑,我就寧願 downplay 件事,所以我會建議這位警務人員這樣寫:

An online video shows a police officer on duty didn’t pay for the drink taken from the convenience store this afternoon at cwb.

成句靚仔晒。

4. 最威係用 was subsequently paid for.

如果要強調比,除咗 title 句 did pay 亦可以用返 present tense 講「事實」(警察最興㗎喇),多舊魚用 was 做咩事,如果係強調過去時間已比就更加要用 had been paid for.

subsequently 都慳返呀。噢 subsequently 係解 "at a later or subsequent time" 即係拎完嘢飲最初無比錢,但最尾有人執呢個警員手尾,如果最初無比錢又叫唔叫偷呢?

仲有點解會有人 approve 呢段嘢㗎…?

原刊於作者 Facebook 專頁

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